Communication : Male-Female Interpretations

The simple act of communicating with each other can lead to confusing messages unfortunately, or messages that are completely lost. This is especially true as you can imagine when it comes to communication between men and women. No wonder there is conflict, as they interpret differently the same conversation. This is because the conversational styles of men and women are different.

Many examples are stereotypically masculine / feminine responses. There are many exceptions to the examples I have identified. Analyze how you feel or respond to situations, compared with those described, and decide whether or not you think you should to change something about your communication style.

As women get older, talk is the thread which relationships are woven. To develop and maintain friendships they share secrets, and talking is for them the cornerstone of friendship. Men bond also, and as intensely as women, but for them their friendship is based mainly on doing things together, and talking is not necessary to cement relationships. When they converse, it is to negotiate status while women converse to create rapport. Men are comfortable telling people what to do, women do not like to pull rank, so request, rather than demand (which makes men think they have the right to accept or refuse the request of the woman).

In conversation, women face each other directly, with eyes stuck on the face of another. The men sit at an angle to each other and look elsewhere in the room periodically looking at each other and often mirror their body movements. The tendency men have to face away from them when conversing gives women the impression that men do not listen to them when they really are. The only time men really look for any length of time at the speaking person is when they are trying to see whether the speaker is lying or not. The is hostile and they may have to take defensive action, or they are trying to evaluate an attractive woman. In this case, they will look over her body while listening to your comments. This is very disturbing to the woman because hthe man’s eyes seem to say that he is not listening but that he is sizing her up as a woman.

Another habit that gives women the impression men are not listening is that they often change topics. Women will talk at length about a topic, but men tend to jump from one topic to another. When a woman expresses her views, her female listener often expresses agreement and support, while men point out the other side of the issue. Women see this as disloyalty and a refusal to provide support for their ideas. Women prefer other points of view expressed in suggestions and questions, and not as direct challenges or arguments. Men feel comfortable with type of opposition.

Men expect attention in silence and interpret constant noise of the listener as signs of impatience on the part of the listeners. When men do not make listening noises, women may assume that they are not listening to them. Women make more noises such as “Uh-huh …” to encourage the speaker. Men often believe that these noises mean the woman agrees with him when in fact she may totally disagree. Often men are also less likely to make non-verbal signs of listening, and many continue doing what they were doing before the conversation began.